Towards the end of June, I had a conversation with two of my friends about a couple of speaking engagements that I had signed up to do. I was really excited about the prospect of sharing my knowledge and experience with blogging and running my stationery business. But, I was also nervous about how it will be received. After all, June was the month of countless Instagram and Facebook Lives and I was one of those people who cringed at how we all became experts and coaches overnight. Nevertheless, I was happy to be invited to speak and had even begun preparing for my moment in the light.
Somewhere along the line, an overwhelming feeling of overwhelm completely blindsided me and hit me like a ton of bricks. The emotional tone of the world was weighing me down, regardless of how hard I tried to find the joy. The demands of working and educating two children in different grades constantly had me feeling like I was inept and failing. Then there was the list of positive spiritual changes I had vowed to implement in my life at the end of Ramadan; sitting neglected in my Journal and judging me.
I began to feel disconnected from my children and my husband. But, most devastatingly, I was feeling disconnected from my Lord. The spiritual rites of worship that previously centred me began to feel like tick-box exercises and The Words that once nourished me felt empty and struggled to reach my parched soul.
It was time to de-clutter. I had a lot going on in my life but had nothing going IN my life. It was in that conversation with my friend that I was really able to articulate what I was feeling and why I needed to cancel my engagements. I said to her : ”I have to eliminate everything that is not 100% essential to my life and really focus my energies strictly on the things that absolutely matter”
And that’s what I did. I deleted the News App off my phone, logged out of and deleted Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, and, put all blogging targets on the back burner. It was time to stop absorbing things and put up barriers.
Much like the country (and the rest of the world), I had been invaded by a virus that my body was working hard (but failing) to get rid of and thus needed to go into lockdown whilst keeping only essential services open.
So here I am, weeks later, rearing to get back into the swing of the things, but, with a keener sense of self-awareness and purpose.
Of course, things didn’t grind to a complete halt in my life. Whilst I was self-isolating :-), I completed my CIPD certification course and can now proudly add ‘Assoc CIPD’ to my name on my resume. I also bought an indoor Areca Palm tree that’s proving to be more high-maintenance than a new born. I mean what exactly does it want?! Mist or no mist? Sunshine or no sunshine? Water regularly or daily? The constant browning tips on the fronds are stressing me out and my nightly serenading of this plant isn’t working! This is why you shouldn’t try to live like those lifestyle and ‘home-inspo’ bloggers! LOL I’m kidding.
I also learned how to paint ( a house) for the first time in my life, published a special episode of my podcast, “celebrated” a 10- year milestone in my marriage! (Pinch me!) and, I got to pray the Eid Salah at the mosque this time around. Another bonus is the news that this brother, Amir Muhaddith got released from prison on the day of Arafah! I am so glad for him and for the fact that he was able to celebrate Eid with his family. Alhamdulillah
That’s my monthly catch-up done! How was July for you, and what do you look forward to doing in August?